Familia Recap

I went to Familia this morning. If you're not familiar with Familia (That's some fun alliteration, assonance, & consonance right there!), you should check it out at http://www.familiausa.net. Bring it to the attention of your parish and get a group started. We are a poorly catechized generation and programs like this will help us grow in our faith all the while building & strengthening community.

Today we discussed the Eighth Commandment and spousal love in reference to section VII of Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul II's papal encyclical about the vocation of women (Ladies, he refers to the feminine genius! How often do we hear that—and from a man! May I interject a "Santo Subito"?). The Catechesis portion, while always a good refresher on morality, was not earth shattering for me. However, the Gospel was. From John 3:25-30    

Now a dispute arose between the disciples of John and a Jew ¹³ about ceremonial washings.

So they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, the one who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you testified, here he is baptizing and everyone is coming to him."

John answered and said, "No one can receive anything except what has been given him from heaven.

You yourselves can testify that I said (that) I am not the Messiah, but that I was sent before him.

The one who has the bride is the bridegroom; the best man, ¹⁴ who stands and listens for him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. So this joy of mine has been made complete.

He must increase; I must decrease."

"He must increase; I must decrease." Those words struck me—truly like a big smack to the forehead. John the Baptist was referring to his work preparing the way for Christ—but it is so true in our own lives that we often must decrease so that Christ may increase in our lives. If we took the time to decrease—decrease our focus on ourselves, tasks, etc., we would likely find ways to increase in prayer and our relationship with Christ. It struck me as true also for our relationships with others. If we decrease, we allow others to increase. Think of what implications that could have in our marriages and relationships with others! By decreasing, we can allow others to increase and grow. Powerful—but hard to do! It also tied in nicely with this passage from Ephesians 5:

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. ⁶

Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.

As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her

to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,

that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,

because we are members of his body.

"For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.

In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

St. Paul is calling us—nay, challenging us to "decrease" as John the Baptist did in yielding to Christ as the Messiah. He is extending it to our earthly relationship with our spouses. By subordinating ourselves, submitting ourselves to one another fully and loving each other as our "own flesh," we are preparing ourselves for our full relationship with Christ as it will be realized in Heaven. I think in our modern day "all-about-me" world, we could all stand to decrease a little bit (or a lot…). If everyone became a little less self-focused and a little more others-focused and Christ-focused, can you imagine what would happen? The results would be amazing.

Our discussion about this topic led one of the women in my group to share the following prayer. I plan to pray it so that I might decrease and allow others and, most of all, Christ to increase.

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From
the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From
the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should…

 

Amen.